Homosexuality: A Spiritual Stumbling Block

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged." — Matthew 7:1

Picture two men so deeply bound to one another that their very souls are practically one. They embrace, weeping openly in each other’s arms, and tenderly kiss before parting ways. When one of them perishes, the other laments that his companion’s love was more wonderful to him than the love of any woman.

In today’s hyper-suspicious world, most men would instinctively squirm, instantly suspecting the relationship had crossed a line. This, however, describes the sacred covenant bond between David and Jonathan—recorded in First Samuel.

Our modern cultural anxieties quickly hijack our spiritual discernment. We fixate on potential sexual transgression where none exists, projecting our own motives onto an ancient, holy brotherhood. That same impulse to measure, suspect, and categorize the hearts of others is precisely where believers lose their footing. As James reminds us, "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it" (James 2:10). When we approach others through a lens of suspicion rather than Christlike love, we stumble at the very core of God's command.

We’re not accustomed to thinking about how the evil one’s mission is to corrupt Christ’s bride, the church. Paul cautions us that our true spiritual battle is "not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12). One of the devil’s most successful attacks against Christ’s bride, the Church at large, is making us lose our Christ-like heart toward gay couples. If we are completely honest with ourselves before God, most of us struggle with a well-established subconscious bias against them—questioning both their intentions and their eternal security.

We readily preach and accept the unconditional grace of God powerfully detailed throughout the Book of Romans—that "where sin abounded, grace abounded all the more," and that "nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ." But we find it difficult to extend that holy truth to gay individuals. We fail to see them as simply flawed, as we all are, and instead suspect they are being defiant, if not obstinate—feeling they should shoulder an extra burden, a unique cross—not one fashioned by God, but a heavy timber constructed and imposed by us, their own spiritual kin.

Could it be that the evil one persistently tempts us to treat gay believers as a lower class—forever below us so we can feel better about ourselves? Do gay individuals choose such an unpopular and misunderstood path lightly? Is their desire for love and companionship truly self-centered, obstinate, and inherently evil? This unjust burden imposed upon them is rooted in a well-engrained playbook of religious self-righteousness that unwittingly deviates from the heart and teachings of Jesus Christ—"Love one another, as I have loved you."

If we still wrestle with a sense of eternal security that relies on a combination of God’s grace and our own works, we often attempt to ease our persistent sense of guilt and shame by focusing on others whom we believe are in a worse place than ourselves. This is how the Church wrongly came to characterize homosexuality as a unique category of defiance and spiritual obstinacy as gay relationships became more visible. Their behavior has been and remains a convenient distraction from our own shortcomings. We feel safer believing God is much more concerned with their behavior than ours. It is a twisted form of solace—a subconscious assurance that we remain in better standing with God simply because we are not them.

Does same-sex behavior fall outside God's ideal design? Scripture leads most believers to conclude that it does. Those holding this belief are thereby not obligated to condone or promote a lifestyle that violates their conscientious understanding of Scripture. Holding faithful biblical convictions, however, does not require compromising on love and grace. We cross a critical spiritual line when personal convictions turn into the assumption that same-sex attraction is somehow uniquely offensive or particularly disturbing to God above all other sins. Treating one struggle as a special category of moral failure invents a self-righteous hierarchy that Scripture simply does not support.

It is completely understandable that most Christians cannot relate to or identify with same-sex attraction. Scripture demands no such psychological alignment or personal identification. From a purely human perspective, it is altogether natural for heterosexual individuals to view same-sex attraction as unfamiliar, unnatural, or even unimaginable. But we must not cross the line from personal unfamiliarity into spiritual judgment and condemnation. That is where believers jump the tracks and get stuck deep in the spiritual weeds. We are rarely able to fully identify with another person's path, and passing judgment on them forces us into an ungodly position Christ Himself would not defend.

Many Christians have defended their stance against homosexuality by highlighting the word abomination. Throughout Scripture, that word occurs seventy-six times—yet it connects to sexual conduct only twice. The remaining seventy-four occurrences address an array of other transgressions, such as dishonest business scales, haughty eyes, lying tongues, and idolatry, revealing that God finds many non-sexual behaviors deeply abominable. When Jesus Himself used the word abomination in the Gospels, He never applied it to sexual conduct, and Jesus never addressed homosexuality once throughout His entire ministry. Why has the Church become so confounded by this single issue while gracefully looking beyond all other behaviors God explicitly calls abominable?

When Paul wrote about same-sex behavior in Romans 1, he was addressing the wild, abusive, self-absorbed, and promiscuous culture of ancient Rome. He was confronting rampant pagan idolatry, temple prostitution, adult men exploiting young boys, and masters abusing slaves. Paul was targeting reckless, unchecked lust. Yet believers often misapply Paul's critique of ancient pagan excess to condemn loving, committed, monogamous same-sex relationships. Refusing to recognize the profound difference between exploitative, lust-driven promiscuity and covenantal fidelity imposes an arbitrary, unhistorical religious standard. We must not weaponize Scripture by tearing it from its historical context.

Christ’s parable of the Pharisee praying, "God, I thank you that I am not like other people..." exposes our constant temptation to manufacture personal holiness by pointing at an out-group (Luke 18:9–14). We routinely set aside the fourth commandment—to keep the Sabbath holy—extending effortless grace to our own weekly disobedience while demanding total perfection from gay individuals. Jesus targeted this exact hypocrisy when He warned against picking at the speck in our neighbor's eye while ignoring the log in our own eye (Matthew 7:1–5). Singling out gay individuals provides a convenient diversion from our own quiet, socially acceptable sins like greed, gossip, and Sabbath-breaking.

Demanding that gay believers endure an undeserved gauntlet of isolation, shame, and rejection—while we enjoy full grace for our daily transgressions—creates an indefensible double standard. We tragically demand a level of spiritual sacrifice from others that we would never accept for ourselves.

Jesus issued what should stand out as a sobering warning regarding how we treat fellow believers: "If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" (Matthew 18:6). When a believer seeking Christ faces religious hostility, that stumbling block is placed directly in their path to the Savior by the very people called to reflect God’s love and draw them closer to Him. We must not weaponize God's name to scapegoat a vulnerable minority. That falls far short of defending the faith, and amounts to systemic spiritual abuse—something we must never be part of.

There is a fascinating and tragic irony in this dynamic. Those who endure relentless scrutiny and rejection often keep a far truer Sabbath of the heart than their accusers. Stripped of religious pride and forced to wrestle through judgment, they rely solely upon God's grace and mercy rather than superficial conformity. Having worked out their salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12), they stand before God like the tax collector, painfully aware of their constant need for divine grace. The unique cross borne by gay believers reveals nothing about God’s rejection but instead exposes the unhealed pride and spiritual failure of the Church.

Father, forgive us when we attempt to ration Your lavish, unconditional grace from those who need it most. Search our hearts before we ever presume to judge others—especially fellow believers. Teach us to love, welcome, and extend genuine grace to gay men and women, treating them not with suspicion or condemnation, but with the boundless, transformative love of Jesus Christ. Help us dismantle the unholy stumbling blocks we so easily place in their path. Keep us mindful that we are all simply beggar souls hungry for Your mercy. Restore Your Church as a true sanctuary of Your unearned, impartial love and unshakeable grace. Amen.

mgb